Today I re-applied for a job. It was nothing special, just as a server at the local Ruby Tuesday restaurant in my neighborhood. I figured it's something that I'm familiar with, it's close, and they would probably be willing to work with my 20-hour limit placed on my by disability. It was simple because my information was already saved in their system, but it reminded me why I hate applying for jobs online. Those damn assessments are so fucking stupid.
I understand wanting to get an idea of someone's personality, but those online assessments are not the best way to go about it. I don't feel that they accurately gauge an applicant's personality, and more importantly they tell you nothing about that person's actual ability to do the job you're looking to hire them for. I'm a fan of old fashioned interviews, where you can see someone's attire, feel their handshake, and listen to the way they speak and answer your questions. I'm sure that is still valid but I feel like they miss out on good candidates by using these personality assessments to determine who gets interviews and who doesn't.
The whole situation with me looking for work is borderline emotional for me. I want to work. I want to do something that allows me to utilize my skills and education, but I'm caught in a sticky place because I don't have the best criminal history or work history. My resume looks good but if they were to really dig deep they'd notice that it's not all that it's cut out to be. But that's just something I have to deal with and hope I can use to my advantage. I'm a very qualified person. I'm college educated, trainable and able to learn new things and apply concepts and ideas. I can be a really personable worker, despite my diagnosis of bipolar. And I'm a great team player, always being willing to help another person out when they need it.
I just wish people would focus more on what folks have to offer than being stuck on their past. It's not easy to come into an employment situation and explain your criminal history without feeling like you've excluded yourself from being a candidate for a job. I want to be upfront and honest about my past, but it's hard to do when you feel that all people are going to do is judge you because of it. I don't want to make excuses for what I've done, because that is not what grown men do. I've made bad decisions in the past and I've suffered from and learned from them. I've become a more thoughtful person and I consider the consequences of my actions before I engage in them. I just want someone to give me a chance to show them that I'm no longer the person I used to be.
But I'm not defeated. This is a new year and it is going to be full of new opportunities for me. I'm determined to make some changes and I have to start with the little things. I have to get up every day and do something that gets me closer to my goals. I have to remind myself that I have a purpose in life and it's time to start following after that. I have a lot to offer the world and the only way that I'm going to get to a point to do some meaningful things is to work hard and believe in myself. I already have the education and I'm getting experience every single day as I live life. I just need to come across the right person who is offering the right opportunity to being it all together.
But as for today, I'm happy I made a move in the right direction and I'm going to try to keep the momentum going tomorrow and every day after that. If I hit it hard enough and stay consistent I'm sure something will come my way. I just pray that the ancestors open my heart and mind to be in a good space to receive what the universe has waiting for me.
I understand wanting to get an idea of someone's personality, but those online assessments are not the best way to go about it. I don't feel that they accurately gauge an applicant's personality, and more importantly they tell you nothing about that person's actual ability to do the job you're looking to hire them for. I'm a fan of old fashioned interviews, where you can see someone's attire, feel their handshake, and listen to the way they speak and answer your questions. I'm sure that is still valid but I feel like they miss out on good candidates by using these personality assessments to determine who gets interviews and who doesn't.
The whole situation with me looking for work is borderline emotional for me. I want to work. I want to do something that allows me to utilize my skills and education, but I'm caught in a sticky place because I don't have the best criminal history or work history. My resume looks good but if they were to really dig deep they'd notice that it's not all that it's cut out to be. But that's just something I have to deal with and hope I can use to my advantage. I'm a very qualified person. I'm college educated, trainable and able to learn new things and apply concepts and ideas. I can be a really personable worker, despite my diagnosis of bipolar. And I'm a great team player, always being willing to help another person out when they need it.
I just wish people would focus more on what folks have to offer than being stuck on their past. It's not easy to come into an employment situation and explain your criminal history without feeling like you've excluded yourself from being a candidate for a job. I want to be upfront and honest about my past, but it's hard to do when you feel that all people are going to do is judge you because of it. I don't want to make excuses for what I've done, because that is not what grown men do. I've made bad decisions in the past and I've suffered from and learned from them. I've become a more thoughtful person and I consider the consequences of my actions before I engage in them. I just want someone to give me a chance to show them that I'm no longer the person I used to be.
But I'm not defeated. This is a new year and it is going to be full of new opportunities for me. I'm determined to make some changes and I have to start with the little things. I have to get up every day and do something that gets me closer to my goals. I have to remind myself that I have a purpose in life and it's time to start following after that. I have a lot to offer the world and the only way that I'm going to get to a point to do some meaningful things is to work hard and believe in myself. I already have the education and I'm getting experience every single day as I live life. I just need to come across the right person who is offering the right opportunity to being it all together.
But as for today, I'm happy I made a move in the right direction and I'm going to try to keep the momentum going tomorrow and every day after that. If I hit it hard enough and stay consistent I'm sure something will come my way. I just pray that the ancestors open my heart and mind to be in a good space to receive what the universe has waiting for me.
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