The Journal of an Angry Black Man

Just some before and after pics In college I found myself allowing my hair to grow for the first time in my life, and I loved it. It was a great way to express my individuality and it felt good to be able to be more of my authentic self and have people love me for what I really looked like, not chopped and greased and brushed into submission. Over the years, mostly because of a need to conform in job situations, I've cut my hair and worn it short. I've never been the guy who was consistent about going to the barber shop every other week, so keeping a short cut turned out to be a lot more maintenance than I wanted to put into my hair. For a while I'd just let it grow until it was too unruly and disrespectful, and then I'd shave it off and start back at a bald head. I've probably repeated that process for the better part of a 15 years or more. Now, I'm starting another natural hair journey, this time more influenced by my spiritual need to tune it to th

Today, I find myself a little depressed. Not for any particular reason, or because something has changed from yesterday to today. I'm depressed because I've been thinking about my life and I'm wondering if I will ever truly be happy. I'm wondering if I will ever be successful and have the things that will make my life more pleasant than just surviving as I am now. I have been out of work for about two years now. And right now, even though I should be sending out resumes and filling out applications, I'm paralyzed by fear of rejection.  As a convicted felon, it doesn't make me at ease to think about the people who will say no to me getting a job just because of my past. It makes me mad on one hand, and on the other hand it makes me feel like shit because I'm only in this position because of my own actions. But I'm not perfect, and there's nothing I can do to change the situation at the moment, especially as long as I'm at the mercy of others whe