The Journal of an Angry Black Man

What am I grateful for today? I am grateful for a comfortable home. We're not rich but we're far from poor too. I've always felt like home was a place I was always welcome and where I can be myself. I'm grateful for those friends I have who support me financially. They definitely don't have to do it and I appreciate the help they give when they are able to. I am grateful for the luxuries of cable and internet because they keep me from being bored and they allow me to do a little bit of work for myself from home. I'm grateful for the books I have because they've taught me a lot about things that I'm interested in, particularly history and politics. I'm grateful for my experiences growing up, because they have taught me to be appreciative of the life that I have.

What am I grateful for today? I'm grateful to be born into such a rich heritage of being a black person. There is so much richness in the legacy left by my ancestors. I couldn't imagine being anything else, and wouldn't want to be either. I'm grateful for technology, and the ability to keep in contact with people even though we're so far away physically. I get to see what my friends and family are doing every day and I feel connected to them much more than I would if there were no computers or Facebook. I'm grateful for my mother and father, for having me. They may not have been there to experience all the things I did growing up, but without them I would not be. I love them both and I'm just grateful that I get to know them for who they are, flaws and all. I'm grateful for the teachers I've had over my life. They have all poured so much time and energy into me and I believe they did that because they saw someone worth investing in. I hope I

My best friend challenged me to start writing about what I'm grateful for every day. So what better time to start than now. Today, I'm grateful for my family, specifically my Aunt Bert who has shown unconditional love and support for me since the first time she saw me as a baby. I do not know where I'd be without her. I'm grateful for the opportunity to get an education. I might not be doing what I thought I'd be doing at this point in my life but at least I have something that says I'm capable. My degree was a goal that I set my mind to and accomplished and I'm happy that I stuck with it and proved it to myself. I'm grateful for my health. I have issues that I have to deal with but for the most part I am healthy. I'm blessed to have access to doctors and medicine that keep me going and in good shape. I'm grateful for my friends who remind me every day that I'm a special person deserving of love and loyalty. They have always been a gr

This morning I attended a program at my old high school dedicated to unveiling a historical marker at our school. Israel Charles Norcom High School has been a part of Portsmouth's black community since the 1900s, and the legacy that goes along with the name has continued on in our lovely city for more than 100 years. Today, Norcom students, administration, alumni, faculty, staff and friends gathered together with a few local and state leaders to recognize the contribution that I. C. Norcom has made to the Portsmouth community. Congressman Bobby Scott was there and spoke, so was the city Superintendent and the Mayor. I got to catch up with an old teacher of mine, Mr Miles Bond. and it was great being back in a place with so many great memories and such a great history attached to it. I've missed seeing so many smiling brown faces every day. Norcom truly has a place in my heart and I hope and pray that the institution continues to have such a positive and profound affect on our c

So, I've been home alone for three days now because Aunt Bert is in California! She went out there on an invite from my sister in law to surprise my brother, Neavrae, at his upcoming promotion ceremony with the Navy. This is her first time going to California and I'm really happy that she got to go out there to see my brother. It's a little weird being here alone though. I'm so used to Aunt Bert always being home that it just takes some getting used to with her not being here every morning and every night. I'm managing to take care of myself and the house fairly well. I haven't burned anything down, mainly because I haven't attempted to cook anything. And I'm not even entertaining company at home which I thought I would but quickly realized I don't want to invite people into my home, especially folk I don't even know. I took down the Christmas tree, washed my bed linens and I'll probably do some more laundry later in the week. I've just

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr Day. It's a day of remembrance and service and a time to honor a man who did so much to bring us closer together as a nation. Dr. King was taught to us all in school and we all know him for his rousing speeches, his leadership in protests and marches, and ultimately losing his life in the fight for racial equality and social justice. He was definitely a monumental figure in American history and someone who we can all look to for inspiration in how we live our individual lives.

I came across this newspaper photo of me when I was going through a box of stuff that my ex brought me over Christmas. Even the reason I was in jail makes me laugh now because it was something stupid that could have been completely avoided if I'd have just kept my mouth shut and controlled my emotions. But in the moment, I felt I needed to say what was on my mind and that feeling ended up landing me in jail for a few days. It's crazy that cussing someone out over the phone would be considered a crime just like assault or violating a protective order. But that's our criminal justice system. You can tell how irritated I was from my face in the picture. I was completely irritated and just not feeling the whole process. But that's old news. I'm glad I'm past that part of my life, feeling the need to speak out on every little thing that I feel wronged about. When things bother me or upset me now I just leave it alone. Not everything deserves a response and most t

Like many other gay men, I have these gay dating apps on my phone. They are supposed to help men find compatible matches and meet up for dates or whatever, but in reality they are just apps people use to hook up and fuck. I'll admit, I've used them for that purpose before but at 35 I'm finding that I want a little more out of my relationships than just sex. So now I'm asking myself whether these apps are even useful to me anymore. The types of guys online are typically looking for a quick encounter and they don't even engage in meaningful conversation. It's all "Sup" and "Wyd" or "Wya". To me, that's just not the way anyone with any intelligence starts a conversation. But I have to remember that these guys, typically young 20-somethings, aren't looking for meaningful conversation, they are just looking to meet up for sex. I have been thinking about deleting these apps off my phone but for some reason I've been hesitant

We don't get a lot of snow in Virginia, but it seems to snow enough for the entire year when it does manage to fall and stick. This time we got about 8-10 inches. I've managed to clear our walkway and driveway over the past two days and I'm kinda proud of myself that I did it without any help or without having to be asked or prompted by my Aunt. We actually got out of the house and went to the grocery store today, which was a welcome treat for me because I hate being stuck in the house, especially due to snow. It's supposed to stay below freezing until Monday so it'll be here for a couple more days. In the meanwhile, I'm staying warm inside, trying to find something other than CNN to watch on TV. I got my soda and my Black N Milds so I'm good. I hope everyone else affected by the storm is staying warm and safe, Here's to the Blizzard of 2018!

Today I re-applied for a job. It was nothing special, just as a server at the local Ruby Tuesday restaurant in my neighborhood. I figured it's something that I'm familiar with, it's close, and they would probably be willing to work with my 20-hour limit placed on my by disability. It was simple because my information was already saved in their system, but it reminded me why I hate applying for jobs online. Those damn assessments are so fucking stupid. I understand wanting to get an idea of someone's personality, but those online assessments are not the best way to go about it. I don't feel that they accurately gauge an applicant's personality, and more importantly they tell you nothing about that person's actual ability to do the job you're looking to hire them for. I'm a fan of old fashioned interviews, where you can see someone's attire, feel their handshake, and listen to the way they speak and answer your questions. I'm sure that is sti

My license has been suspended for years. It's not even because of driving infractions, but because of other convictions that I have and my inability to pay the fines and court costs associated with them. This is something I want to take care of in 2018 but today really put it into perspective for me as to just how much work this is going to take.  Today I took the time to look up my different charges online and to tally up the total I owe. It's damn near $4500! To some this might not seem like a lot, but to me, someone with only a limited income, it's seemingly insurmountable. But this year I'm not speaking negatively about things in my life, I'm doing my best to try to speak positively and to speak things into existence. So, with that being said, this year I'm going to do what I need to do to put this debt behind me, or to at least get on a payment plan so I can drive while working to pay it completely off. I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make this