The Journal of an Angry Black Man

Days like today, I sit and think about my life and the situation I find myself in. Often I wonder if it's something that I will ever be able to recover from.  I get told that I can't beat myself up for things...and I truly understand that.  But, knowing that even if I wanted to blame someone else that it wouldn't been seen as mature or accepted in any sense, I find that there's nobody to blame other than me. And in accepting that blame, I also accept the shame, guilt and feelings of inferiority that go along with that. People also tell me that nobody is perfect. I hear them and understand what they're saying. But, I also feel that society deems certain people perfect, and others imperfect, or broken, or unfit to do or be certain things.  As wrong as I know that is down in my heart and soul, as a second or third class citizen of this nation, I find myself helpless and hopeless to do anything to change my own station in life. Don't think that I lack faith,...

Picture this... Me... Richmond City Jail...40 of the longest days of my life...never to be re-lived or won-back from time. I honestly don't even want to write about my experience there, but I'm sure that some type of revelation can come through a cathartic session like this one.  There were so many different areas where I felt tested and tried while incarcerated, but to point out one as more important than another would do them all injustice.   I definitely learned my lesson.  Watching HOW I SAY things to people makes a big difference.  WHAT I SAY to them can be done without putting myself in a situation where they have a reason or the motivation to take what I've said to the authorities.  And being able to recognize when something or someone is not even worth the dignity of a response would be an asset. I'm intelligent enough to choose my words wisely, and to know when the situation is beneath my involvement.   I gained an opportunity to meet p...