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I Miss

I miss falling asleep with his locs in my face
And my hand rubbing across his belly
I miss white seedless grapes, and Welch's Fruit Snacks
And my favorite, peanut butter and jelly
I miss all my music, Jill Scott and Badu
Tupac, Outkast and Queen Bey
I miss having windows, seeing the trees
For real I must miss being free

I miss Uncle Wendell, may he rest in peace
I miss my girlfriends and my crew
I miss Aunt Bert's breakfast, bacon, eggs and toast
I miss looking up and seeing the sky is blue
I miss all my clothes, my closet and my room
I miss all my books and my art
I miss seeing frames with pics of my family
Even though they are etched in my heart

I miss being able to walk to the store
Or to the field to watch the boys and girls play
I miss all the familiar slang and speech
Like "jamk", "lightning bugs" and "Out the way"
I miss everything and almost everyone
My dreams remind me of it every night
But soon enough I'll be free, and back to my life
And everything will be perfectly alright


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Can you believe that I still dream of getting high
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And smoke and try to wake up still John Blazed
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Because it gives me the chance, to leave reality behind
And just float, like a cloud up into the night sky
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But being real is my best shot at escaping death
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But I fucked up when I shot up with meth
We've all heard this saying, at some point in our lives
"What's good to you ain't always good for you"
Well that shit felt too great, and I knew it was no good
Because it took days before my body recovered
I'm not proud of that shit, but I live in my truth
And maybe I can help someone else avoid it
Because depression is a lie, and when you think you've lost your mind
All that'…