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A Weekend Renewal

Shalom House, Montpelier, VA This weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a "Transformation Retreat." It was a weekend getaway for persons infected with HIV, and part of a series of other retreats and programs by The Renewal Projects, an organization in Richmond, VA. The experience was amazing, unforgettable, life-changing, and any other word you could think of to describe a simply beautiful weekend. We didn't have a large group, which at first seemed to be a bit of a bummer. But, it turned out to be the thing that made the experience that much better for myself, and I hope for the rest of the people who attended. My room during the retreat There were no televisions or radios. Our rooms were simple. The only lights outside were those lining the sidewalk from the two cabins we stayed in down to the "Shalom House" where we had our group meetings and activities, as well as our meals. The food was great, too! We practiced meditation a...

The fight of my life!

Since I've been back home in Portsmouth I've been taking time to just relax and get back to being at peace with my life. I've been able to see old friends, hang out, eat well, and fill my days with lots of laughter, which is good for the soul I know. I've been able to visit familiar places and have been greeted my familiar loving faces as well. It's truly been a blessing that I've been able to take a break and come home to hit the reset button in my life, and even more blessed that I have a husband who supports me in that, even if he (like me) misses being together each and every day. Well, there are two issues that I know I have to face head on, and I have not gotten any more at ease about dealing with them since I've been home than I was when I was living in Richmond. I've been HIV positive since 2005, and most of the past 10 years have gone by without complication or incident. I've been on a medication regimen of one pill a day, and more recentl...

It is what the fuck it is...

I often wonder what my dog thinks of me. Does he look at me and think how pitiful I am? Or does he see me as one of those people he just can't wait to jump up on and love all over?  I hope it's the latter but I'll never truly know. People are different. I don't understand people as a whole. As individuals, I can get to know and love them. But, as a group - mankind - I can't fuck with it! I  know... I'm crazy! I get it. I got it. But now what? What am I supposed to do? Trust my own judgment? I can't do that now, because I know that's not normal and hasn't been for quite a while. Or at least that's the message I get from the mirror the world hold's up to me. Yes. I'm angry. I know why, and at the same time I don't. I know why I think I'm angry. I know what makes me upset now. But, I would be lying if I said that I know what created such anger in me. I would be lying if I said I haven't known anger before any other real ...