Skip to main content

"Thirty-Six Days"


"Thirty-Six Days"

Thirty-six days, I've been in this cell.
No end in sight from what I can tell.
My mouth brought me here, and my "aggressive tone".
But I injured no one, not skin, hair or bone.
I pray to their god, but he does not hear.
And I've cried so much, I have no more tears.
How did less than one minute of words filled with rage
End up with me here like some dog in a cage?
Me being punished, that's not what I'm mad about.
It's the keeping of secrets about when I'll be let out.
This is cruel and unusual and I'm mad as hell.
Thirty-six FUCKING days I've been in this cell.

My mind is eroding, trying to figure out why
Why they've put me in here, in this box, alone to die.
I promised my mother my life I would not take.
But that might be the last promise I'll ever make or have to break.
I can't keep this up, my soul is on E.
Where is there god? Why doesn't he hear me?
I pray every night, like Aunt Bert taught me how.
I come humbled, on bended knees, eyes closed, and head bowed
But I'm still in this cell, now a lion in a cage,
Being punished for speaking, and expressing outrage.
And if speaking my mind, will send me to hell,
That's fine, so be it, just get me the fuck out this cell!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A little bit of happy.

Anyone who knows me or follows my blog knows that I have dealt with depression and mood swings that are not always be easiest things to cope with throughout my adult life. Today, I'm at a place where I can genuinely and sincerely say that I have been feeling happy a lot recently. Not much has changed in my situation. I'm still living at home. I'm still unemployed and on disability. I'm still single and not in any type of serious intimate relationship (at least not anything exclusive). But for some reason, I've been feeling happy. I don't know what has changed in my mental state, or if I'm just allowing myself to let go of all the negative and be content with what I have right now, but whatever it is that has me feeling a little more upbeat I'm definitely here for it. I still spend a lot of time in my room, downloading "movies" and being on social media. Some might say that's unhealthy, but I get a lot of interaction from my friends and fa

The fight of my life!

Since I've been back home in Portsmouth I've been taking time to just relax and get back to being at peace with my life. I've been able to see old friends, hang out, eat well, and fill my days with lots of laughter, which is good for the soul I know. I've been able to visit familiar places and have been greeted my familiar loving faces as well. It's truly been a blessing that I've been able to take a break and come home to hit the reset button in my life, and even more blessed that I have a husband who supports me in that, even if he (like me) misses being together each and every day. Well, there are two issues that I know I have to face head on, and I have not gotten any more at ease about dealing with them since I've been home than I was when I was living in Richmond. I've been HIV positive since 2005, and most of the past 10 years have gone by without complication or incident. I've been on a medication regimen of one pill a day, and more recentl

Living At Home...

Why are gay men so mean when it comes to how they feel about people living at home with their parents? I mean, I shouldn't care what folk say but sometimes it does bother me. These people hit me up for whatever reason but soon turn sour when they realize I can't host or don't have my own car. I understand that people who have their own work hard for it but that doesn't give you the right to put other people down because they are not where you are exactly at this point in life. In my situation, it upsets me that people just assume I'm a bum, and they don't care to even know what things happened in my life that led me to have to be at home right now. They don't care. It's just fucked up how people are so materialistic and shallow. Of course I would rather have my own place and my own car but that's just not in the cards for me at this point. I've had those things before and I know the work involved in having them. But not having them doesn't