Skip to main content

It's Christmas Eve

I could be feeling a lot of negative emotions right now, but I'm not. Life doesn't have the same downward trajectory that I felt it had before. Yeah, I know it's only been a couple of months, but this is where I am right now in this moment. It's Christmas Eve, and even though I know there's no Santa Claus, and probably no Jesus even, I'm still allowing myself to get into the holiday spirit. I'm at home, comfortable and full. I just spent some good quality time with my family, and tomorrow I get to see my husband and spend a few days in Richmond with him. So things are good. They're not perfect, but I've yet to meet someone who's situation truly was. I got the new Adele from my Sister/Wife/Friend and it's really making me feel some type of way, but that's what I should have expected. I smoked in the backyard this evening when we got back from dinner, and it was almost too good to believe. It's like 60 degrees now, at night. It's definitely not going to be a white Christmas, but for once it's nice to see how people in Miami or in California must experience the holidays with this warm weather. It's kinda in the way when it comes to my wardrobe because a lot of my best stuff is winter clothing, but I'm sure January and February will bring a noticeable change. I ain't got a lot to say today, but I guess a good day deserves a post even if it is a short one.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Weekend Renewal

Shalom House, Montpelier, VA This weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a "Transformation Retreat." It was a weekend getaway for persons infected with HIV, and part of a series of other retreats and programs by The Renewal Projects, an organization in Richmond, VA. The experience was amazing, unforgettable, life-changing, and any other word you could think of to describe a simply beautiful weekend. We didn't have a large group, which at first seemed to be a bit of a bummer. But, it turned out to be the thing that made the experience that much better for myself, and I hope for the rest of the people who attended. My room during the retreat There were no televisions or radios. Our rooms were simple. The only lights outside were those lining the sidewalk from the two cabins we stayed in down to the "Shalom House" where we had our group meetings and activities, as well as our meals. The food was great, too! We practiced meditation a...
2 comments
Read more

The fight of my life!

Since I've been back home in Portsmouth I've been taking time to just relax and get back to being at peace with my life. I've been able to see old friends, hang out, eat well, and fill my days with lots of laughter, which is good for the soul I know. I've been able to visit familiar places and have been greeted my familiar loving faces as well. It's truly been a blessing that I've been able to take a break and come home to hit the reset button in my life, and even more blessed that I have a husband who supports me in that, even if he (like me) misses being together each and every day. Well, there are two issues that I know I have to face head on, and I have not gotten any more at ease about dealing with them since I've been home than I was when I was living in Richmond. I've been HIV positive since 2005, and most of the past 10 years have gone by without complication or incident. I've been on a medication regimen of one pill a day, and more recentl...
2 comments
Read more

It is what the fuck it is...

I often wonder what my dog thinks of me. Does he look at me and think how pitiful I am? Or does he see me as one of those people he just can't wait to jump up on and love all over?  I hope it's the latter but I'll never truly know. People are different. I don't understand people as a whole. As individuals, I can get to know and love them. But, as a group - mankind - I can't fuck with it! I  know... I'm crazy! I get it. I got it. But now what? What am I supposed to do? Trust my own judgment? I can't do that now, because I know that's not normal and hasn't been for quite a while. Or at least that's the message I get from the mirror the world hold's up to me. Yes. I'm angry. I know why, and at the same time I don't. I know why I think I'm angry. I know what makes me upset now. But, I would be lying if I said that I know what created such anger in me. I would be lying if I said I haven't known anger before any other real ...
1 comment
Read more