Skip to main content

Today...

Since I've lived in Richmond I've been seeing therapists regularly to help sort out some of my problems. Some have been licensed professional counselor a and others have simply been people who were willing to lend an open ear. 

Today I met with my case manager, Rodney. He's a great guy who allows me to be myself and returns the favor by being completely genuine with me as well. He's moving on to another position so today we really had a heart to heart. Rodney has continuously advised me that I need to forgive myself and see myself as worthy and loved. We go back and forth about it in almost every meeting we have, and it often works to make me more upset. But I know he says it out of general concern and care. 

We also talked about my latest court appearance and how I felt fucked over once again. I'd already been considering just withdrawing my appeal and simply doing the five days over weekend time, and after speaking with Rodney and hearing him suggest the same it left me without much of a conflicted mind to the matter. I might not like it, but I need to accept it. 

I really don't feel so great about myself or my life right now, but I know I need not spend it allowing my thoughts and feelings to be hijacked by some old divorced bitch with chicken-scratch penmanship and the wardrobe of a county witch. If I plan to live life and leave it on my terms, I have to get this from over my head. 
Location: Fan Free Clinic 1010 North Thompson Street, Richmond

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Living At Home...

Why are gay men so mean when it comes to how they feel about people living at home with their parents? I mean, I shouldn't care what folk say but sometimes it does bother me. These people hit me up for whatever reason but soon turn sour when they realize I can't host or don't have my own car. I understand that people who have their own work hard for it but that doesn't give you the right to put other people down because they are not where you are exactly at this point in life. In my situation, it upsets me that people just assume I'm a bum, and they don't care to even know what things happened in my life that led me to have to be at home right now. They don't care. It's just fucked up how people are so materialistic and shallow. Of course I would rather have my own place and my own car but that's just not in the cards for me at this point. I've had those things before and I know the work involved in having them. But not having them doesn't ...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Weekend Renewal

Shalom House, Montpelier, VA This weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a "Transformation Retreat." It was a weekend getaway for persons infected with HIV, and part of a series of other retreats and programs by The Renewal Projects, an organization in Richmond, VA. The experience was amazing, unforgettable, life-changing, and any other word you could think of to describe a simply beautiful weekend. We didn't have a large group, which at first seemed to be a bit of a bummer. But, it turned out to be the thing that made the experience that much better for myself, and I hope for the rest of the people who attended. My room during the retreat There were no televisions or radios. Our rooms were simple. The only lights outside were those lining the sidewalk from the two cabins we stayed in down to the "Shalom House" where we had our group meetings and activities, as well as our meals. The food was great, too! We practiced meditation a...
2 comments
Read more

A little bit of happy.

Anyone who knows me or follows my blog knows that I have dealt with depression and mood swings that are not always be easiest things to cope with throughout my adult life. Today, I'm at a place where I can genuinely and sincerely say that I have been feeling happy a lot recently. Not much has changed in my situation. I'm still living at home. I'm still unemployed and on disability. I'm still single and not in any type of serious intimate relationship (at least not anything exclusive). But for some reason, I've been feeling happy. I don't know what has changed in my mental state, or if I'm just allowing myself to let go of all the negative and be content with what I have right now, but whatever it is that has me feeling a little more upbeat I'm definitely here for it. I still spend a lot of time in my room, downloading "movies" and being on social media. Some might say that's unhealthy, but I get a lot of interaction from my friends and fa...
Post a Comment
Read more