Skip to main content

The Journey to Driving Again

My license has been suspended for years. It's not even because of driving infractions, but because of other convictions that I have and my inability to pay the fines and court costs associated with them. This is something I want to take care of in 2018 but today really put it into perspective for me as to just how much work this is going to take.  Today I took the time to look up my different charges online and to tally up the total I owe. It's damn near $4500! To some this might not seem like a lot, but to me, someone with only a limited income, it's seemingly insurmountable. But this year I'm not speaking negatively about things in my life, I'm doing my best to try to speak positively and to speak things into existence. So, with that being said, this year I'm going to do what I need to do to put this debt behind me, or to at least get on a payment plan so I can drive while working to pay it completely off.

I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make this disappear, but that's not how life works. And ignoring it hasn't made the situation any better, so the only thing I can do is face it and do a little bit at a time to take care of it. I wish I had a rich uncle or relative that could spare that type of money but that isn't the family I was born into. And even if I did I'd probably miss a lesson if someone else were to pay it for me. There's probably a lesson in this struggle that I'm meant to learn, and I'm open to that. I just have to focus and make a plan and work at it bit by bit. It does seem overwhelming to think about the total amount I owe, but in bits and pieces it's a more doable task, and I'm sure that's how most regular people would tackle something like this, in installments. So maybe the smart thing to do is to focus on getting some money saved for the down payment, and then work on making the monthly payments in order to keep my ability to drive.

I think I also have to take a driver improvement class, but that's nothing that's hard. I'm sure it's gonna cost to sign up for it, but I'll cross that road when I get to it. I'm not a bad driver, and I admit that I do miss being able to get into a car and just come and go as I please. My Aunt has a really nice vehicle and I'm sure that if I had a license she would allow me to use it when I needed to, but as of now I already know she's not gonna allow me to go anywhere as long as I'm not licensed. And that's fair. I can't expect her to go against the law because if I got caught she would be the one on the hook to get her car out of the impound and that would only mean more money that she has to spend for something stupid that I did.

This is my goal for 2018 and I have to work on it in order to get it taken care of. I have all year to do this and I just have to put one foot in front of the other and stay focused and dedicated to what I've made up my mind to do. I really believe this is the thing that can set me back on a good path in life and I want to prove to myself that I can accomplish something if I truly set my mind to it. I'll probably need some help along the way and I need to not be too ashamed or shy to ask for it when I feel I need some assistance, But I really want to do this on my own as much as possible. I took the first step today by simply looking up how much I owe. The next step is to figure out if there are any programs that help people like me work on paying down their fines and costs. I know of one but I need to research a little more and find out if there are any other programs available. Getting a part time job is part of my plan and I need to work on that daily as well. I think I should go back to serving because it's something I know well and it's something that I think would fit into the 20 hour limit that disability puts on me. Maybe the Ruby Tuesday up at Victory Crossing is still hiring. If so that would be a perfect situation, it's close, it's a casual place and I know I'd be one of the top servers there if only they would give me a chance.

It's only the second day of the year and I'm focused on making a change. If I can keep this up I'm sure that things will work out for me. I just gotta stay positive and determined to do what I set out to do. I got this!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The fight of my life!

Since I've been back home in Portsmouth I've been taking time to just relax and get back to being at peace with my life. I've been able to see old friends, hang out, eat well, and fill my days with lots of laughter, which is good for the soul I know. I've been able to visit familiar places and have been greeted my familiar loving faces as well. It's truly been a blessing that I've been able to take a break and come home to hit the reset button in my life, and even more blessed that I have a husband who supports me in that, even if he (like me) misses being together each and every day. Well, there are two issues that I know I have to face head on, and I have not gotten any more at ease about dealing with them since I've been home than I was when I was living in Richmond. I've been HIV positive since 2005, and most of the past 10 years have gone by without complication or incident. I've been on a medication regimen of one pill a day, and more recentl...

A Weekend Renewal

Shalom House, Montpelier, VA This weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a "Transformation Retreat." It was a weekend getaway for persons infected with HIV, and part of a series of other retreats and programs by The Renewal Projects, an organization in Richmond, VA. The experience was amazing, unforgettable, life-changing, and any other word you could think of to describe a simply beautiful weekend. We didn't have a large group, which at first seemed to be a bit of a bummer. But, it turned out to be the thing that made the experience that much better for myself, and I hope for the rest of the people who attended. My room during the retreat There were no televisions or radios. Our rooms were simple. The only lights outside were those lining the sidewalk from the two cabins we stayed in down to the "Shalom House" where we had our group meetings and activities, as well as our meals. The food was great, too! We practiced meditation a...

Does the world want me to be fake?

I know I have my own set of problems and issues.  I've come to the point where I can admit that to myself or others who inquire about them.  But, where I still find myself stuck is when folk expect me to be "positive" or to have some type of "confidence" in my future.  How can I be positive when I feel like shit?  But, I guess that's just how we do things in America, we fake it until we make it.  But, if I'm being fake as hell and really not expressing anything, who does that help?  Not me. I've been a failure my entire life.  I've never done anything right.  Either I've taken too long finishing college, or I haven't had the right amount of patience and tolerance with a job that others felt I should have stuck with.  Time and time again I simply see myself in a bad light and I really don't know how to begin to change it or even if it can be changed. I've been told that I'm too hard on myself.  I can understand what people ...